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Exigence; Excerpt 2

I was going to post an excerpt of what my MC thinks, but I think it might bore you to death, so here is an interesting scene instead.

This one is about a page long.

His earpiece beeped and a voice followed it. “Captain, I received a request from higher up. They want to know the status of our two targets.” The voice was quick and light and it was hard to tell if it were from a male, female, or something else entirely.

“There have been no confirmed sightings of them but I have reports of two murders, with one matching our profile, and the other yet unidentified.” He sighed gruffly. “If these indeed are our people, someone or something has beat us to it.” He did not like this. He wanted to eliminate his targets and he planned on finding out who did this and eliminate them.

“What do you want me to tell them, Sir?” The voice replied hesitantly.

“Tell them one target is confirmed dead by a third party, and that the other's status is unknown.” he paused a moment before continuing, “The other unidentified person was found as a dried pile of blood and other human particles, so until we have the identity of it, we will have to keep looking.”

“Aye, Sir.”

“Traiton out.” The conversation ended with a beep and click. Traiton swore lightly to himself and called his squad to his location.

“We're going on a manhunt, guys.” Traiton declared. His squad cheered.

“Finally we can leave this hell hole,” one of the younger men said, “and finally shoot some shit!” Others nodded in agreeance.

Traiton decided not to give the news of the unidentified murder victim. He wanted them to work with the fervor they were taught to know. They were on a foreign planet and the last thing he wanted was for his men to become disillusioned. He had already seen one company fall to pieces from something similar; that is where he got the mouthy private. As annoying and fresh as he was, Traiton was grateful to have another aboard after the death of his most seasoned. He would often berate and be short with the private if only for the fact that he had taken the place of his best soldier and best friend. The others respected the private as he was taking their captains antics with maturity and grace, something they had seen in only too few privates. He was still very idealistic and full of his own ego, but he seemed to know the right times to display them, if only to lighten the squads mood. Or piss them off.

If there was one thing they had tried to teach the private right away, it would have been to not do anything that the captain would find any remote dislike in. They told him stories of what had happened to some previous kid who had fell to the side with the captain, but he did not believe them until after it was too late. He made a snide comment to one of his squadmates, thinking the captain was well out of earshot. They had tried to tell him that the captain could hear anything, but he didn't listen. Before he knew what had happened he was on the ground, his head pounding with pain. Traiton had struck him from behin with the butt of his rifle, then walked away, never saying a word.

“I told you,” one of them said. “He can hear anything he wants.”

“Yeah, I can see that now.” He rubbed the back of his head as he stood up unsteadily.

“You're lucky you're standing,” another squadmate mused, “I've seen him knock guys unconscious for days.” Everyone but the private started to laugh. He turned a light shade of red in anger and started to storm away from the group, when he felt an iron grip on his shoulder. He didn't look back. He didn't have to. He knew who it was and he let their grip direct him back to the group. Everyone fell silent as Traiton and the young private walked back.

“Watch over this one,” their Captain said in a stern and low tone, “he is nothing but trouble.”

The truth was that the private was acting as Traiton had when he was his age, and it angered him more than a little. He hoped that he could train this kid properly and not do as he had done.



( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 10th, 2007 11:41 am (UTC)
Heh, interesting, I feel sorry for the private though. I hope he doesn't meet a sticky end though.

The music, is that the Seatbelts from Cowboy Beebop?
Nov. 10th, 2007 10:37 pm (UTC)
Yeah, the private kind of got himself into that though, as he didn't listen to everyone else. And the way things are shaping up, he doesn't look like he'll be meetin a sticky end anytime soon.

Yes it is.
Nov. 10th, 2007 02:20 pm (UTC)
You have me wanting to read more. Traiton is badass without being a cliche, I like it.
Nov. 10th, 2007 10:38 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, I didn't even think about him being a badass. I'm just writing away, letting them take on lives of their own.
Nov. 10th, 2007 11:57 pm (UTC)
Definitely good... I like it. I'll have lurk so I can get the next bit.
Nov. 11th, 2007 11:37 am (UTC)
I think I like the private. He's cocky and very self-assured - but yeah, the 'nail that sticks out gets hammered down'

@miashael: love your icon .... but you gotta remember that we make forms - and fights - look oh so much better :D
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


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